I Just Want To Workout

I don’t like confrontations and I don’t like rejection– I believe most people feel the same. But we all know someone who loves good conflict. People who enjoy trading angry words with a total stranger, but not me.

This morning, I went to the gym as I do every day at 5 a.m. When you’re a regular somewhere, you tend to see other regulars, the gym is no different. Though we regulars see each other every morning, we tend to stay within the confines of our headphones. Even during the occasional light gym conversation of asking someone if they’re using a machine, or how many sets they have left; we don’t turn down the volume, and we rarely remove one side of the headphone to hear. We’re adept at understanding what the other person is asking, and we nod along. This foggy morning seemed to be no different. I walked in, said good morning to the gym staff at the front desk, and went up the stairs to the weight room area. On my second exercise, I proceeded to the free weights, picked up two 25lb dumbbells, and walked over to the preacher curl seat thingy. I decided to do my shoulder lateral raises there.

That particular spot just happened to be behind two people who are also there regularly. A tall, fit, African American man, and a short, shapely, Hispanic woman. The man seems to be coaching this woman. The man usually has a stern or snarling look to him, I rarely see him smile. Even when he daps up someone he knows, it’s a stoic face. The two of them were on the long matted area in front of the free-weights, which is in front of the long wall of mirrors. So in essence I was behind them. I was maybe 5-10 steps behind them depending on how big your stride is. As I proceeded to raise the dumbbells, the man stopped and moved to the left while shaking his head at me with a nasty look. He goes to another bench and walks back to grab his things while still shaking his head. I put down my weights, moved one side of my headphones off of my ear, and asked,

“What’s wrong?”

“There’s so much space in this gym bro.” He said

“And I’m in my own space right here nowhere near you.” As I pointed to the 25lb dumbbells that I have now placed on the floor.

He kept a nasty look on his face and said “Enjoy bro.”

“You could have asked me to move,” I said

He walked away, and I put my headphones back on to continue my exercise. I was annoyed, replaying the scenario over in my head to see if I had done anything wrong. Granted, the gym wasn’t as busy as it normally is, and there could have been another spot for me to do my workout, but I was in a designated area and was not encroaching in his space. If I did anything wrong, it might have been that I took up his mirror space, and maybe my being in his view annoyed him. We’re both paying members at a gym who both have a right to work out and use any machine allotted to us.

I was very bothered by that interaction, for three reasons. One, I didn’t do anything wrong. Two, I have to see that guy every day. Three, He ruined my morning. I continued my workout and tried to forget the situation. In actuality, it wasn’t a big deal. It is especially not a big deal with everything happening in the world. But I was bothered. I wanted to confront him. I wanted to understand what I did that set him off. Of course, without being biased toward myself, I can assume this was not about me. I was just at the tipping point of his problem, but I was still bothered.

On the treadmill, as I was wrapping up my workout, I realized it was the look of disgust that he gave me as he shook his head at me that made me upset, and that I replied with, “You could have asked me to move.” Yes, he could have, but again, I wouldn’t have had to because I was in an actual spot dedicated to actual gym equipment. I wasn’t in some random spot trying to make my own space. I didn’t have to give a response that I was in the wrong. But that look, was as if I had just grabbed his genitals, spit on his kids, or slapped his mom in the face. It was a look that, even though I didn’t do anything, was not warranted for the minor incident. His lips curled up, his eyes squinted, and his head shook in absolute disgust. That look still haunts me.

I managed to mantra my way into a better mood, but I was still unnerved. I’m sure it will bother me tomorrow morning and possibly for the rest of the week but, that’s life. I can’t control his actions or feelings, but I can control mine.